I have to admit, I am not one of those theatre types who thinks that sports are the scourge of all humanity and if I know anything about them I am betraying my artistic conscience. On the other hand, I sometimes think our sporting culture could use a little tweaking. So, in an effort to combine both -- may I present Theatre Bowl I!!!! It's a simple game: Name a character from a theatre piece, and what position they should play on the ultimate theatre football team! For example...

Quarterback: The high school Biff from Death of a Salesman

Receiver: Juliet, from Romeo and Juliet (Girl sure knows how to catch a pass made at her...)

Defensive Coordinator: Tyresius from Oedipus Rex ('cause he can see what's coming).

Tell me how you would fill other positions on the team!